Divergent 33 - 'Never Have I Ever' Changes the War
by AnnLiberty
Summary: Replaces parts of Divergent, starting at chapter 33. Tris gets a chance to share her realization about the sim serum with Tobias before it kicks in, and when they spend the evening at Zeke's with the crew playing 'Never Have I Ever,' it changes the way the attack plays out. Portions in italics are taken directly from Divergent by Veronica Roth. Part of my Drinking Games series.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my take on another way the attack on Abnegation could have gone. It starts at the beginning of Chapter 33 of Divergent, the banquet at the end of initiate training. Tris and her fellow initiates have just finished training, and Tris placed first in her class. She has also figured out, at least in part, that the "trackers" Eric injected everyone with are actually a simulation serum, though she hasn't had a chance to share that with Tobias or anyone else yet. In future chapters, portions will come directly from Divergent. All rights to that story, its characters, setting, etc. belong to Veronica Roth.**

The party in the cafeteria looks like it might go on all night. Every time I turn around I face another wave of congratulations, hugs, and high fives from people I've never even met before. Zeke and Shauna stop at my table to offer their congratulations and let me know that there will be a party at his apartment right after dinner. I'm to bring Christina and Will with me, and when I offer to pick up some drinks or snacks, Zeke refuses.

"Don't be a Stiff, Tris! We're celebrating you tonight! You're the top initiate! Just come over right after dinner," he says gleefully, shaking my shoulders. I grin back at them and promise to be there.

The kitchen staff have pulled out all the stops for the banquet. We feast on steak, potatoes and green beans fresh from the Amity fields, and of course, Dauntless cake. Giddy about the party, Christina sneaks out early to go get dressed and do her hair. She tries desperately to get me to go with her, but I refuse to miss out on the cake, so I stay with Will.

As the cake is being served, Eric jumps up to make another announcement. "For those of you who didn't get to the infirmary today to have your tracker put in, you will be required to have that done before you leave the cafeteria this evening. We have two lines forming by the exit. You won't be able to leave until you've had it done, so don't wait."

"He's such a ray of sunshine," grumbles Will. "Did you get your tracker yet?"

"Yes," I reply, my hand fluttering to the bandage on the side of my neck, "he injected me right after my fear landscape. Didn't you get yours?"

"No," says Will, "I guess they were down at the infirmary when I got done, but I was too shook up from my fear landscape to remember to go down there. I'll get in line as soon as I finish my cake."

Suddenly my Dauntless cake doesn't taste so good. My mouth is dry and I can't swallow it past the lump of panic in my throat. I want to stop Will from getting the injection, but I don't know how to explain it in this busy room or how to sneak him past Eric without revealing what I figured out. I take a deep breath and try to calm my thoughts. With this many Dauntless already injected, stopping Will won't stop an attack. Besides, Tobias and I were already injected. Our only hope is to find a way to stop it before it starts.

I give in, put on a fake smile, and say to Will, "I'll head back to the dorms then and let Christina primp me for the party. You know that makes her happy. We'll wait for you and head to Zeke's when you get back."

I head out of the cafeteria, showing my bandage at the checkpoint to prove that I already got injected, and head in the direction of the initiate dorms. I see Tobias pacing in front of the dorm and wave to him. He rushes right to me.

"Tris! You figured something out, didn't you? I saw it on your face and I've been waiting for you to get out here. What is going on?"

"It's the trackers they're injecting everyone with," I explain, "It's an orange liquid. Orange liquids are not trackers, they're sims. I think Erudite is going to put the Dauntless into a sim and make us cooperate in their attack on Abnegation. I don't know if they're going to make us give up our weapons or actually do the fighting for them, but they're going to use us against our will."

Tobias' eyes widen, his jaw drops, and for a minute he's speechless. When he recovers, all he can say is, "Tris, what do we do?"

"I don't know, Tobias, I was hoping you would have an idea," I reply. "We need to figure out when the attack is going to happen. Let's start by going to Zeke's tonight, just like we planned. I'm sure they won't be holding the sim this soon, there have to be people that aren't injected yet and it should take a few days to get everyone. Maybe we can talk to our friends about this and come up with a plan. We'll come up with something. We have to. But if we can't find a way to stop this, we _have to_ warn my parents!"

As I think of my parents, friends, and former neighbors in Abnegation, panic again threatens to overwhelm me. Tobias must see it on my face, because he pulls me in for a hug, rubbing gentle circles on my back.

"You're right," he says soothingly, "we'll think of something. Let's go to Zeke's. We're going to need our friends to help us figure this out."


	2. Chapter 2

Tobias leaves me at the transfer dorm while he runs down to the pit to buy some snack foods and a bottle of alcohol for the party. As expected, Christina practically tackles me as soon as I arrive.

"Oh my god, Tris!" she squeals, "We have to get you ready! And you have to tell me all about you and Four!"

"There isn't much to tell yet, Christina. We like each other. We admitted it at the end of the second phase of initiation, but it had to stay quiet until he wasn't my instructor anymore."

"Obviously you've kissed him. I saw that for myself," she says, "but has there been anything more?" She waggles her eyebrows up and down while applying powder to my rapidly blushing cheeks.

"No," I say firmly.

"Once a Stiff, always a Stiff," sighs Christina. "I do have some red lipstick and high heels here that might help you get over that! Oh, and a short skirt or sexy top that you might borrow!"

"Easy, tiger," I laugh, "there's a big gap between Stiff and slut, and I don't think I can make the whole jump in one night!"

Christina laughs as she applies Dauntless black eyeliner and a coat of mascara to my eyes. We forgo the red lipstick and pick a subtler gloss instead, allowing my grey smoky eye makeup to be the star of the show. I do consent to the dress Christina picked out for me, a "graduation gift" she calls it. She just had to buy for me when she saw it. It's black, of course, with a straight, sleeveless body, a low waistline, and a pleated skirt that looks like it's made of leather. She explains that the dress is an edgy, Dauntless version of a style called a "flapper dress," and that it's really only flattering on girls that don't have much in the way of curves, which I'm sure is why it made her think of me. I put on a pair of black, heeled booties and grab my jacket.

With our primping completed, we only have to wait another minute or so before Will returns from his injection. Since Christina snuck out to get ready before the announcement was made, I insist that she put a bandage on her neck so she won't get caught and have to miss the party while she waits in line for her injection. Secretly, I'm thrilled that she hasn't been injected with the simulation serum, and I hope the bandage will be enough to keep her from ever getting it. If we're triggered, at least we'll have someone unaffected who can hopefully do something to stop the attack or warn my family.

We make our way to Zeke's apartment, and before we even get close loud music indicates that a party is in full swing. With all the noise, we don't even bother knocking, but just let ourselves in. Right away I see Tobias on the other side of the living room, and his eyes light up as he makes his way to me. Zeke and Shauna are here too, as are Uriah, Lynn, and Marlene. Everyone is either dancing, snacking, or talking loudly over the music, and I cannot help but smile at the confidence and energy that radiates from the Dauntless way of life.

When Tobias reaches my side, he leans in for a quick kiss and speaks close in my ear, "Nice legs, "Stiff," you look hot."

I blush as he plants another kiss on my cheek then pulls me in close to his side. We make our way to the small kitchen where Zeke and Shauna are alternating between setting out snacks and stealing kisses. They both hug me, and Zeke announces loudly that I look "hot" tonight, earning him a smack on the arm from Shauna and a glare from Tobias. I notice that neither of them have bandages on their necks, so I ask about it.

"Didn't you two get injected with the new trackers yet?" I ask.

"No," says Zeke as Shauna shakes her head, "we were otherwise occupied." He holds his hands up in a dorky gesture that looks like quotation marks around his head. Shauna's face reddens and she hits his arm again. I also blush, but before I can say anything in response, the door bangs open, and Peter and Eric walk in.

Tobias and I turn to face each other, panic written on both of our faces.

"Distract them," I say quickly. He nods and walks toward the door.

"Zeke, Shauna, look at me," I say in an urgent tone, "I can't explain right now, so you're going to have to trust me. Do you have a box of bandages?"

Shauna looks concerned as Zeke digs through a junk drawer, producing a box of bandages. I yank two of them out of the box and quickly hide the package back in the junk drawer. I hand one to Zeke and rip open the other one, placing it on Shauna's neck. Zeke rips his open and hands it to me so I can place it correctly. Both of their faces register shock, confusion, and a bit of fear.

"Listen," I continue, "if anyone asks, you had your tracker injected already. OK?" They nod. "It wasn't a big deal; it didn't really hurt. Don't bring it up, but if it comes up, just go with it. We'll explain more when we can. Got it?"

They nod again, and I hide the bandage wrappers inside a napkin before throwing them in the garbage. Then I turn to Tobias who has Peter and Eric facing away from the kitchen and wrapped up in conversation, and I give him a thumbs-up. He smiles at me, and I see Peter's glance turn to see what would make Four smile like that. When his eyes find me at the other end of Tobias' smile, he glares at me, his eyes full of hatred and envy.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey everyone, let's play a game!" calls Uriah.

Zeke turns down the music and everyone makes their way to the circle of chairs in the living room.

"What do you say," continues Uriah, "Candor or Dauntless?"

How about "Never Have I Ever," says Peter with an evil glance in my direction.

Most people nod, obviously missing the dangerous glint in Peter's eye, and Zeke, Shauna, and Uriah jump up to gather booze bottles and enough shot glasses for everyone. Meanwhile, Christina, seated on my left, explains the game.

"So, we go around the circle, and one at a time we say 'Never have I ever' and then we say something we have never done. After they say the thing, you have to take a drink if you HAVE done it."

I nod, and realize that my Abnegation background is probably going to keep me sober tonight. Tobias, sitting on my right, gives me a reassuring smile.

Once the bottles are located and the shot glasses are distributed, Zeke begins the game.

"Never have I ever finished first in my initiate class!" He yells triumphantly.

So much for my theory. I pick a random bottle and fill my glass while Tobias does the same. He leans over and clinks his glass with mine, and we both toss back our shots. The clear liquid burns like bile on its way down my throat, and I resist the urge to cough as tears gather in my eyes. Around the circle everyone is grinning at me, and I begin to feel my face go red from the mixture of attention and alcohol.

"Well, there goes my plan to say 'never have I ever drank alcohol.'" I joke. My friends laugh and the attention turns to Uriah who is seated beside Zeke.

"Uh, never have I ever, um, dated Shauna!" says Uriah with a grin at his brother.

Zeke proudly tosses back his drink, then turns to his brother. "Uri, you're a pansycake for taking a lazy shot at your brother like that!"

"You know you wanted a drink," says Uriah, "I did you a favor."

Before the two can start wrestling and ruin the game, Peter takes his turn.

"Never have I ever," he says glaring right at me, "slept with my instructor to improve my rank."

It's a low blow, and it's not even true. For a brief second I wonder if everyone here thinks that of me. But I know the truth, and Tobias knows the truth. I'm suddenly flooded with adrenaline and the overwhelming desire to defend myself and my feelings for Tobias. I stare back at Peter as defiantly as possible.

Tobias' reaction is less calm. His hands curl into fists and I can feel pure rage radiating from him.

Suddenly Shauna says, "oh fine," and fills her glass. The tension in the room immediately breaks as every eye snaps to Shauna in shock. She begins laughing so hard that she can't catch her breath and slides to the floor clutching her sides.

"Oh my god, you guys. Do you think I was serious? Like I would do that! Besides, Amar was way older than us and I'm pretty sure he was gay!"

At that we all begin to laugh, all except Tobias. Though less tense than a minute ago, he still can't get past his anger enough to enjoy Shauna's joke. But I appreciate it. I know she did that for me – for us. As the laughter dies down, she winks in my direction and gratefully I smile back.

"Eric, you're up," she says before things can get heated again.

Eric's face is serious as he looks around the room and says, "never have I missed getting my tracker injected."

No one moves to get a drink and our eyes dart around the room at all the bandaged necks.

"I got mine," I say. Heads nod around the circle and hands absently touch bandages.

"Kind of a lame question, man," says Uriah, less afraid of Eric now that initiation is over.

"Yeah, well I can't stay," says Eric, "so I thought I'd check before I left."

"We're all good," says Zeke. "So I guess we'll see you later, man."

Eric nods at Zeke and Tobias before heading out the door. For a minute the room is quiet. I know some of us would like to comment, but we're all too aware that Peter is still in the room, so we just sit.

"I guess it's my turn," says Tobias. He looks at Peter, his eyes narrowed in anger, and says, "never have I ever tried to kill someone by throwing them in the chasm or stabbing them with a butter knife."

I hear a gasp from Christina, who throws her arm around me protectively. Around the circle, eyes dart back and forth between me, Peter, and Tobias.

"I didn't try to _kill_ Edward," says Peter in a smart ass tone, "I only wanted him gone – factionless. And as for your little _girlfriend_ ," he practically spits, "I just wanted to remind her how small and weak she was. To scare her back into her place. But if my hand slipped…" he trails off with a shrug.

In a microsecond, Tobias is on his feet. His fist connects with Peter's jaw and I hear a sickening snap, and then a thud as Peter hits the floor, out cold.

I throw myself between Tobias and Peter and reach for Tobias' tense arms. "Enough," I say, "he's out cold. I'm not going to let you beat an unconscious man."

"He's no _man,_ " seethes Tobias through gritted teeth, his fists still clenched and body still tense with rage.

"I know," I reply. "You're right. He's a child, and a coward, and he deserves far worse. But I'm not going to let you unload on him when he's unconscious."

Tobias' eyes lift from Peter's unconscious form to meet my gaze. As our eyes meet, his fists relax, his eyes begin to well up with tears, and I see his body begin to tremble as the adrenaline recedes.

Without dropping my gaze, I speak to the room. "You guys drag Peter to the infirmary. I'm going to help Tobias clean up his hand."

I reach out for Tobias' arm and drag him to Zeke's bathroom. As the door closes behind us, I hear our friends discussing which of them will have to deal with Peter. I lock the door and am immediately engulfed in Tobias' strong arms. He buries his head in my shoulder and begins to sob. I hold him close, rubbing circles in his back and letting him cry it out.

"I don't want to be like him," Tobias chokes out. At first I think he means Peter and I'm confused why he would ever think that. Then I understand. Marcus. Tonight Tobias experienced rage like that which had driven his father to beat him. Tonight he wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't stepped in.

"Tobias," I say soothingly, "you are nothing like Marcus. Your anger is not a grab for power and control. Your anger tonight was righteous indignation. Peter stabbed Edward in the eye and got away with it. He tried to kill me and got away with that too. Your anger was protective, not selfish. Peter deserved punishment. It's justice. But you – you did not deserve the way Marcus treated you. No child deserves that. You're a good man, Tobias, you are strong and brave, smart, selfless, honest, and kind."

"I'm still working on kind," he interjects with a weak smile.

"No one's perfect," I say, repeating the words I used when he first showed me his tattoos.

Tobias smiles a little and his hands move to my face. His eyes search mine for signs of fear, judgment, or anger as his thumbs trace my jawline with the gentlest touch. I continue to rub his back, long comforting strokes up and down the sides of his spine while meeting his gaze with confident understanding. After a minute, his head dips down and our lips meet. It's a gentle kiss, as if Tobias is repenting of his rage by showing me his softer side. I return the kiss and slide my hands around to his chest, then up to his neck so I can pull him in and deepen it. When our lips part, we smile, and he pulls me in for another hug.

"You're good for me, Tris," he says, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Let's get you cleaned up," I reply.

Tobias runs his bloody knuckles under cold water while I dig through Zeke's cupboards for a clean washcloth. Once I locate the cloth, I run it under the cold water then gently press it to Tobias' face, removing any trace of his tears. He sighs contentedly, and I perch up on my tip toes to give him one last kiss before we go back to our friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: In this chapter, my story merges back toward Veronica Roth's original story,** _ **Divergent**_ **(chapter 34). Anything written here in italics is a direct quote from chapter 34 of** _ **Divergent**_ **. The next chapter will be much the same, keeping "Divergent 33" closely connected to** _ **Divergent**_ **, then my story will veer off again before finally merging fully into the original story. I make no claim to the intellectual property of Veronica Roth, and I strive to minimize how much of her original work I give away editing down her story to minimize the size of my quotes.**

 **Because of the amount of copy taken from the original novel, I'm giving you a couple of longer chapters. Enjoy!**

Walking out of the bathroom, the first thing I notice is that Peter is gone. Our friends are all back, and they're laughing and talking with one another as if nothing happened. Tobias rejoins the group while I slip into the kitchen to get two glasses of water. When I return, everyone is talking with Tobias as if nothing unusual happened, and I can see that he looks more relaxed. I offer him the glass of water, and he takes it with a grateful smile. Zeke is amusing the group with a story from their time as initiates when Tobias breaks in.

"That's not how I remember it, man," says Tobias. "As the guy who had to go get you from your hiding place at your mommy's house, I know you weren't as brave as you claim."

"I remember that!" shrieks Shauna. "I had forgotten about that. He was so freaked out that he ran home and was hiding in his closet! Wait, why am I dating such a, uh…"

"Pansycake?" interjects Uriah. Shauna laughs in agreement.

"You know you love me," defends Zeke. "Besides, Uri, you're one to talk! You used to get in bed with me every time it thundered!"

"When I was little!" says Uriah indignantly.

"You were never little," counters Zeke. "This kid was born eating Dauntless cake!"

Everyone laughs and enjoys the brothers' banter when suddenly Will, Lynn, and Marlene fall silent and jump to their feet in unison. Their eyes are glassy, their movements robotic. They move in lock step toward their jackets and shoes and silently begin dressing to leave. This has to be the simulation, I think. But Tobias, Uriah, and I were also injected, so why are they the only ones affected?

Tobias gasps as the realization hits him "Divergents must be immune to the serum," he says.

Uriah is Divergent too? How does Tobias know, and why didn't he tell me?

I know why. The same reason he was hard on me during initiation. The same reason he threw knives at me and nicked my ear. Tobias is trying to protect me. And Uriah, too. As our instructor, he saw our fears, and the way we reacted under the fear simulation. He recognized our divergence and helped us hide it. Even from each other.

I hear Tobias again, his 'Instructor Four' voice marking him as our clear leader. "Zeke, do you have any zip ties or duct tape? Anything we can use to restrain them so the Erudite can't use our friends?"

Although he has no idea what is going on, Zeke obeys Tobias' directions and jumps up to find restraints. The rest of us do what we can to keep Will, Lynn, and Marlene from leaving the apartment while Tobias and I explain that the so-called tracker we were injected with is actually a sim designed to make the Dauntless into robot soldiers so the Erudite can attack Abnegation.

With the two zip ties Zeke found, we bind the girls' hands behind their backs. Will gets the same treatment but with duct tape, and we haul the three zombies back to Zeke's bedroom closet. Once our friends are in the closet, we bind their feet as well, slide the door shut, and push furniture in front of the door to keep them from escaping. We close the bedroom door and move some furniture in front of it as well.

"I hope that's enough to keep them safe," says Tobias, and I can hear a shade of fear in his voice. "We can't do anything to stop the battle from here, so the rest of us are going to have to go out there and pretend to be affected by the sim as well. Blank faces, no reactions. Try to look the way those three did. Do what the people around you are doing. Once we get to Abnegation, we'll try to break off and help people escape. We'll meet back at Candor with any Abnegation refugees and other Divergents we find. OK?"

Everyone nods as we put on our shoes and jackets. Beside me, Christina is sniffling. I hand her a tissue.

"Be brave, Chris," I say in a firm voice. Tears could give us away and get us all killed.

Out in the hall we fall in line with the other Dauntless. They are marching, their motions in perfect unison, and we mimic them as closely as possible. The line marches through the Pit, up a flight of stairs, and down several corridors into a large cavern full of weapons. I follow the Dauntless zombie in front of me, repeating his movements as he picks up a gun, holster, and belt before heading toward the exit.

We _stand next to the train tracks in a group that stretches as far as I can see with my peripheral vision. The train is stopped in front of us, every car open. One by one, my fellow_ Dauntless _climb into the train car in front of us._

The train rumbles through the city on its way to the Abnegation sector. There is a huge lump in my throat as I think about my parents, friends, and neighbors – innocent Abnegation asleep in their little grey houses with no idea that an army of black-clad zombies is on its way to destroy them. Tobias must sense my anxiety, because he silently slips his hand into mine while maintaining his zombie façade. For the rest of the trip to Abnegation his thumb rubs soothing circles on the back of my hand. _I can't see_ where we are _because the girl in front of me is so tall, so I stare at the back of her head and focus on Tobias' hand in mine until the rails squeal. I don't know_ _how long I've been standing there, but my back aches, so it must have been a long time. The train screeches to a stop, and my heart pounds so hard it's difficult to breathe._

 _Right before we jump down from the car, I see Tobias turn his head in my periphery, and I glance back at him. His dark eyes are insistent as he says, "_ Tris, Zeke. Stay together."

" _My family," I say_ in a strangled voice. Tobias nods, anguish written on his face.

"Christina, Uriah, and Shauna, stay with me for now," he finishes.

I don't want to leave Tobias, but as the only two familiar with the Abnegation sector, it only makes sense that we separate. Zeke and I will focus on finding my family while the others try to disrupt the sim and gather any survivors they can.

 _I look straight ahead again, and Zeke and I jump down from the train car when it's our turn. Tobias walks in front of me. I should focus on the back of his head, but the streets I walk now are familiar, and the line of Dauntless I follow fades from my attention. I pass the place where I went every six months with my mother to pick up new clothes for our family; the bus stop where I once waited in the morning to get to school; the strip of sidewalk so cracked Caleb and I played a hopping, jumping game to get across it._

 _They are all different now. The buildings are dark and empty. The roads are packed with Dauntless soldiers, all marching at the same rhythm except the officers, who stand every few hundred yards, watching us walk by, or gathering in clusters to discuss something. No one seems to be doing anything. Are we really here for war?_

 _I walk a half mile before I get an answer to that question._

 _I start to hear popping sounds. I can't look around to see where they're coming from, but the further I walk the louder and sharper they get, until I recognize them as gunshots. I clench my jaw. I must keep walking; I have to stare straight ahead._

I witness the Dauntless, their faces expressionless and eyes sightless, rounding up the Abnegation. I see an Abnegation council member shot at close range. My stomach turns as the children and families, still in their night clothes, are rounded up like stray animals. _The only people I do not see are the Abnegation leaders. Maybe they are already dead._

As we pass a dark alley, I bump Zeke's arm with mine and peel off to the left. He follows in perfect lock-step, as if the simulation had ordered it. Once safely hidden by the darkness, we drop the act and hurry through the shadows toward my old home. I throw open the door and call to my parents, but the house is silent and empty. I run up the stairs to their unadorned bedroom and find nothing but an uncharacteristically wrinkled and unmade bed.

I am in a blind panic. Were they already taken? Already killed? Without checking my surroundings, I run out the front door, where I am immediately spotted by some of the Dauntless leaders.

"Hey, there's one!" I hear one of the men yell.

I try to run, but another leader raises her gun and shoots. The bullet tears through my shoulder and the pain drops me to the ground.

"Run," I say in the direction of Zeke, still inside the front door. "Save my parents if you can." I try to keep my voice quiet enough so the approaching Dauntless leaders don't know I have an accomplice. They grab my arms painfully, and haul me to my feet. The pain is nearly unbearable, and I feel the edges of my vision go dark as they practically drag me through the streets toward Abnegation headquarters, a plain, two-story grey building. Inside the front door they shove me into an office where Jeanine Matthews sits behind a desk.

"Jeanine," says one of my captors, "we found another Divergent."

Jeanine looks up at me and laughs. " _You," she says, pointing at me, "I expected. All the trouble with your aptitude test results made me suspicious from the beginning._ But I was surprised to find your little boyfriend was Divergent."

I startle at the mention of Tobias. If she knows that he's Divergent, it means they caught him, too. What about our other friends? Is Zeke the only one left to save the Abnegation?

"Yes," continues Jeanine, "Four, or should I say Tobias, has some useful skills from his job at Dauntless. He will make an excellent test subject. But you, Beatrice, _you are too injured to be of much use to me, so your execution will occur at the conclusion of this meeting."_

" _Take her to room B13," she says_ to my guards.

 _They drag me down the hallway. I feel numb inside, but outside I am a screaming, thrashing force of will. I bite a hand that belongs to the Dauntless man on my right and smile as I taste blood. Then he hits me, and there is nothing._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: In this chapter, my story is closely merged with Veronica Roth's original story, Divergent (chapter 35). Anything written here in italics is a direct quote from** _ **Divergent**_ **. Soon my story will veer off again before I merge it fully into the original story at my conclusion. I make no claim to the intellectual property of Veronica Roth, and I strive to minimize how much of her original work I give away editing down her story to minimize the size of my quotes.**

 _Where am I?_

 _A light flickers above me. The bulb is blue and dim when it's lit. I see the walls of a tank around me, and my shadowed reflection across from me. The room is small, with concrete walls and no windows, and I am alone in it. Well, almost – a small video camera is attached to one of the concrete walls._

 _I see a small opening near my feet,_ and water beginning to pour in through it. I have been here before. But _I'm not in a simulation this time._

My right arm is still trickling blood where I was shot by the Dauntless guards. I choke back pain and panic and fight off the urge to sob. _If I refuse to give up now, it will look brave to who_ m _ever watches me with that camera, but sometimes it isn't fighting that's brave, it's facing the death you know is coming. I sob into the glass. I'm not afraid of dying, but I want to die a different way, any other way._

 _Water tickles my ankles, then my calves, then my thighs. It rises over my fingertips. I breathe in; I breathe out. The water is soft and feels like silk. The water will wash my wounds clean. I breathe in. My body rises with the water. Instead of kicking my feet to stay abreast of it, I push all the air from my lungs and sink to the bottom. I think about snorting the water into my lungs so it kills me faster, but I can't bring myself to do it. I blow bubbles from my mouth._

 _I open my eyes_ and see dark figures standing in front of me. They must be coming for my soul. _Pain stabs my lungs, and for a moment as I stare through the water, I think I see my mother's blurry face._

 _I hear a bang, and the glass cracks. Water sprays out a hole near the top of the tank, and the pane cracks in half. The force of the water throws my body at the ground. I gasp, swallowing water as well as air, and cough, and gasp again_ as one of the figures, apparently a tall man, picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

As my mind clears I can see that the other figure is definitely my mother, but she is holding a gun and looks more fierce and determined than I ever imagined she could.

"We have to move faster," she says to the figure carrying me, "Beatrice, can you walk?"

I nod and the man sets me on my own feet. It's Zeke.

"You found them?" I ask in wonder.

Zeke nods in response, and I notice that although he seems relieved to see me, his usual boisterous joy is missing. His face is sober, hard and determined. Wordlessly he raises his weapon and leads the way out. _When we turn the corner_ , he _fires at the two guards standing by the door at the end. The bullets hit them both in the head, and they slump to the floor._ My mother _pushes me against the wall and takes off her grey jacket._

 _She wears a sleeveless shirt. When she lifts her arm, I see the corner of a tattoo under her armpit. No wonder she never changed clothes in front of me. She makes her jacket into a sling for my arm, tying the sleeves around my neck._

"Mom?" I begin, questions bubbling out of my mouth unheeded.

"Yes, Beatrice," my mother says, shushing me before I can begin to question her, "I was raised Dauntless _. And it has served me well today. Your father and Caleb and some others are hiding in a basement at the intersection of North and Fairfield. We have to go get them."_

As we make our way down the halls of the Abnegation headquarters basement, I venture one quiet question. _"How did you find me?"_

"Zeke found us during our escape," my mom explains, "You arrived at our home just minutes after we had snuck out the back door, and when he went the same way, Zeke stumbled upon us hiding in the alley. When he explained that you had been taken, I knew right where to look. Your father and Caleb led the others to the safe house, and we came back for you."

"It was pretty easy to recognize them," adds Zeke, "your mom looks just like you, Tris."

"And Caleb?" I question.

"Not now," says my mother, "we have to keep moving. There will be plenty of time for explanations later."

I nod and follow my mother and Zeke through the building. _My mother has worked there for as long as I can remember, so I'm not surprised when she leads_ us _down a few dark hallways, up a dank staircase, and into daylight again without interference."_

We sneak along until a shadowy alleyway offers us some protection, and mom and Zeke stop to check their weapons and allow me to catch my breath.

"Mom," I say in a faltering voice, "I'm sorry I betrayed you by leaving Abnegation."

"Beatrice, you're Divergent. I've known that since you were little. I knew the choosing would be hard for you but that you would go where you needed to be. _You're my daughter. I don't care about the factions." She shakes her head. "Look where they got us. Human beings as a whole cannot be good for long before the bad creeps back in and poisons us again."_

" _Mom, how do you know about divergence?" I ask. "What is it? Why…"_

 _She pushes the bullet chamber open and peers inside. Seeing how many bullets she has left. Then takes a few out of her pocket and reloads. I recognize her expression as the one she wears when she threads a needle._

" _I know about them because I am one," she says as she shoves a bullet in place. "I was only safe because my mother was a Dauntless leader. On Choosing Day, she told me to leave my faction and find a safer one. I chose Abnegation." She pots an extra bullet in her pocket and stands up straighter. "But I wanted you to make the choice on your own."_

" _I don't understand why we're such a threat to the leaders._ Why is Jeanine hunting us down?"

"Because our minds don't conform to the thought pattern of a single faction. We're unpredictable, and so we are hard to control," she explains. _"And it means that no matter what they do, we will always cause trouble for them."_

 _I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless._

 _I am Divergent._

 _And I can't be controlled._


	6. Chapter 6

I feel naked sneaking through a warzone unarmed, my right shoulder useless in its makeshift sling. We keep to the shadows, moving through the city toward the safe house where my father and brother wait with other Abnegation refugees. My hair is still dripping wet from the tank, and I shiver in my sleeveless dress.

As we walk, I cannot help but wonder about Tobias, Christina, and our other friends. Are they still alive? Have they managed to save any of the Abnegation from the zombie Dauntless soldiers? My anxious thoughts, combined with the shooting and near drowning I've already faced today, are exhausting. I want nothing more than to sneak off to Tobias' apartment, wrap myself in the blue quilt and soft pillows that smell like him, and sleep until this is over.

We stop in the shadows before crossing a large intersection. When I quit walking, I sway slightly and almost faint. Zeke notices and reaches out a hand to steady me. His warm hand clasps my cold arm, and I see alarm on his face as he registers my weakened condition. He quickly removes his hoodie and puts it on me. It is warm and comforting, but it lends me no strength. Instead, I feel my resolve weaken as the small act of kindness brings me to exhausted tears.

"Be brave, Tris," he whispers in a low voice. "We will find them. Shauna, Four, your dad, all of them. We'll find them, and together with the Divergent, the Abnegation refugees, and the other factions we'll figure out what to do. Jeanine won't get away with this."

I nod at Zeke, take in a deep breath, and find my inner resolve. I don't know if Tobias is even alive, but I have to fight until I find him. I have to fight for the Abnegation - those who cannot fight for themselves – like the Dauntless creed says. I have to keep moving or die trying.

We quickly cross the intersection and enter another dark alley. I hear heavy, booted footsteps marching in a synchronized pattern. I know it's the Divergent, and I know they will be armed and looking for us.

" _Here they come,"_ my mother whispers sharply back to Zeke. _I peek over her shoulder and see a few Dauntless with guns, moving to the same beat, heading toward us. My mother looks back. Far behind us, another group of Dauntless run down the alley, toward us._

 _She grabs my hands and looks me in the eyes._

" _Go to your father and brother. The alley on the right, down to the basement. Knock twice, then three times, then six times." She cups my cheeks. Her hands are cold; her palms are rough. "I'm going to distract them. You have to run as fast as you can."_

" _No." I shake my head. "I'm not going anywhere without you."_

She gives Zeke a pointed look and he nods back, placing a strong hand on my uninjured arm. As my mother runs out into the street, firing her weapon in the air to get the Dauntless' attention, Zeke pulls me the opposite way, toward the building my mother had indicated.

 _I whip my head over my shoulder when I hear them fire back. My feet falter and stop._

 _My mother stiffens, her back arching. Blood surges from a wound in her abdomen, dyeing her shirt crimson. A patch of blood spreads over her shoulder. I blink, and the violent red stains the inside of my eyelids. I blink again, and I see her smile as she sweeps my hair trimmings into a pile._

 _She falls, first to her knees, her hands limp at her sides, and then to the pavement, slumped to the side like a rag doll. She is motionless and without breath._

Pain courses through my chest. Worse that getting shot. Worse than the searing pain of nearly drowning. It is a pain from which there is no healing. No restoration. Nothing. It is so final, so deep. _The pavement scrapes my knees_ , and Zeke hauls me over his shoulder again.

Three Dauntless pursue us and I grab Zeke's gun to fire at them over his shoulder. _They killed my mother. I point the gun into the alley and fire blindly. It wasn't really them, but it doesn't matter – can't matter, and just like death itself, can't be real right now._

There is _just one set of footsteps now. I aim at the last Dauntless soldier. The man running toward me is not a man, he is a boy. A shaggy-haired boy with a crease between his eyebrows_ and a torn piece of duct tape still hanging from his arm _. Will._

I scream his name, but he is mindless, deaf and blind to me. _His feet are planted and his gun up. In an instant, I see his finger poised over the trigger and hear the bullet slide into the chamber, and I fire. My eyes squeezed shut._ I _can't breathe._

 _The bullet hit him in the head. I know because that is where I aimed it._ But I cannot look. Zeke turns to look, but when he does not go back to help our friend, I know I am right. Will is gone.

"You had no choice," Zeke begins excusing me in a panicked voice. "We couldn't do anything. He was going to kill us. Oh my god. We had no choice!"

Zeke stares at me with wild eyes, but I do not see him. _I still see Will. He smiles in my memory. A curled lip. Straight teeth. Light in his eyes. Laughing, teasing, more alive in memory than I am in reality. It was him or me. I chose me. But I feel dead too._

 _I pound on the door_ with my good arm _– twice, then three times, then six times, as my mother told me to._

 _I wipe the tears from my face. This is the first time I will see my father since I left him, and I don't want him to see me half-collapsed and sobbing._

 _The door opens, and Caleb stands in the doorway. The sight of him stuns me,_ and I can tell he feels the same.

"Beatrice," he says in surprise, "are you hurt?"

I nod mutely and shove him inside to get the door shut as quickly as possible.

"Where is Mom?" he continues his endless questions.

I want to choke at the question. I want to break down and sob on the floor. But I have to keep it together, so I focus on finding a solution to something. My eyes scan the group of Abnegation refugees, hoping to find someone who can patch up my shoulder wound. I see my father at the far end of the room, and standing beside him, Marcus. _The sight of him makes me ache – Tobias…_

I sway on my feet. One of the Abnegation medical volunteers steps forward, as does my father. They grab on to me and lift me onto a pallet. _Someone else carries a lamp from one corner to the other so we have light. Caleb produces a first aid kit, and Susan brings me a bottle of water. There is no better place to need help than a room full of members of Abnegation. I glance at Caleb. He's wearing grey again. Seeing him in the Erudite compound feels like a dream now._

I lay on my stomach, and the medical volunteer begins to work on my gunshot wound. The pain is intense and I know that I am floating in and out of consciousness, vacillating between fighting to stay awake and wishing I could pass out to stop the pain. Beside me, my father holds my good hand while Caleb peppers Zeke with questions. I hear my brother gasp when Zeke tells them of my mother's fate.

I glance up at my father. _He looks stricken, but recovers himself. "That is good," he says, sounding strained. "A good death."_

Is there good death? _Eric called Al's suicide brave, and he was wrong. My mother's death was brave. I remember how calm she was, how determined. It isn't just brave that she died for me; it is brave that she did it without announcing it, without hesitation._

When my wound is stitched and bandaged, the medical volunteer and my father help me to sit up, and Susan brings me some food, and though my first instinct is to refuse to take what little these people have, I know that I need to eat something to recover my strength and get back to the fight.

" _We are only safe here for so long," Marcus says eventually. "We need to get out of the city. Our best option is to go to the Amity compound in the hope that they'll take us in. Do you know anything about the Dauntless strategy, Beatrice? Will they stop fighting at night?"_

" _It's not Dauntless strategy," I say. "This whole thing is masterminded by the Erudite. Ninety percent of the Dauntless are in a simulation and they don't know what they're doing._ The only Dauntless who can act on their own free will are the ones that didn't get injected with the simulation, and the Divergent."

Zeke elaborates and answers a few questions while I rack my brain, trying desperately to come up with a plan. We have to end the sim and wake up the Dauntless, that much is for sure.


	7. Chapter 7

When Zeke finishes explaining, the room is silent, except for the occasional sniffle. The truth hangs heavy in the air.

"What do we do?" asks one Abnegation woman in a timid voice.

Zeke looks to me, so everyone else does as well. I sigh and struggle to sit up straighter. I am in no condition to lead these people. I'm just sixteen years old. I'm small. I have only just passed Dauntless initiation. I don't know how to lead others. Then I think of Tobias. I have to find him. I cannot follow someone else because I already have a mission. I just need to turn it into a plan and communicate it to the group.

My eyes sweep over the room of Abnegation refugees. There are children here, gentle women who have never even considered fighting, and a few in the group are old. We cannot make an army out of them. It is better to send them somewhere safe and work with the remaining adults. But right now we can't even flee, much less fight. We are unarmed, untrained, and few in number. The only gun in the place belongs to Zeke.

At the thought of Zeke's weapon, I have an idea. I stand, feet wide and arms crossed. I will my face to wear the strong expression I have so often seen on Tobias, and try my best to emulate his firm, confident tone of voice.

"I need a volunteer," I say.

Around me, every hand in the room goes up. If we weren't in such dire straits I would laugh. Ask for a volunteer among the Abnegation, and you get an army. I roll my eyes and turn to Zeke.

"Zeke, there are three armed Dauntless soldiers lying dead in the alley," I begin. "I want you to pick a couple men and take them outside. You cover them with your weapon, and have them strip every gun, bullet, and knife off the bodies."

Zeke's face looks hopeful at this tiny beginning of a plan, and then a stricken look comes over him. I know he is thinking of Will and having to see our friend's body lying in the street.

"I know, Zeke," I say in a soft voice, "I know he is out there, and my mother too. But without those weapons we'll all be lying out there dead soon. You stay by the door, and use your weapon if you have to fend off any more attackers. The Abnegation can strip the bodies. They don't know the Dauntless, and my mother is too exposed to send them after her weapon."

He swallows hard and nods mutely. Turning to the room full of Abnegation, he points to three men nearest to him and says, "Come with me."

They follow Zeke out the door and I turn to face the room again.

"Volunteers have gone with Zeke into the alley to strip the weapons off some fallen Dauntless," I hear a few startled gasps but continue speaking, "I assume none of you are armed?" heads shake around the room, a unanimous no.

"I will take a group with me to the Dauntless headquarters. I have reason to believe that Jeanine is running the simulation from the control room there. We will most likely have to fight our way inside where we will attempt to shut down the simulation. The rest of you will be taken to Amity."

" _Are you sure?" my father asks._

" _It's an informed guess," I say, "and it's the best theory I have._

" _Then we'll have to decide who goes and who continues on to Amity," he says. "What kind of help do you need, Beatrice?"_

 _The question stuns me, as does the expression he wears. He looks at me like I'm a peer. He speaks to me like I'm a peer. Either he has accepted that I am an adult now, or he has accepted that I am no longer his daughter. The latter is more likely, and more painful._

" _Anyone who can and will fire a gun," I say, "and isn't afraid of heights."_

 _I didn't get to decide who is coming with me. Caleb was the obvious choice, since he knows the most about the Erudite plan. Marcus insisted that he go, despite my protests, because he is good with computers. And my father acted like his place was assumed from the beginning._

I ask Zeke to lead the others to Amity and to explain to Johanna, the Amity leader, how the Dauntless are being used against their will. He reluctantly agrees after I promise to send Shauna, Uriah, and the others as soon as I find them. _I watch the others run in the opposite direction – toward safety, toward Amity – for a few seconds, and then I turn away, toward the city, toward the war. We stand next to the railroad tracks, which will carry us into danger._

I give my father, Marcus, and Caleb a brief explanation of jumping on and off of moving trains. They look appalled by the idea, but when the train approaches they follow my lead. All three make it awkwardly onto the train, and as we pass through the city I consider our next move.

 _If I were Jeanine, I would send the majority of Dauntless soldiers to the Dauntless entrance above the Pit, outside the glass building. It would be smarter to go in the back entrance, the one that requires jumping off a building._

I turn to my accomplices, their grey robes reminding me of their lack of combat training.

" _When I tell you to jump," I say, "jump as far as you can."_

" _Jump?" Caleb asks. "We're seven stories up, Tris."_

" _Onto a roof," I add. "_ And Caleb, you have to stop questioning everything I say. We don't have time for that crap. When I say go, you just go."

I glance out the door and turn to my dad. " _Dad, you go_ first _," I say, stepping back so he can stand by the edge. If he and Marcus go first, I can time it so they have to jump the shortest distance. Hopefully Caleb and I can jump far enough to make it, because we're younger. It's a chance I have to take._

 _The train tracks curve, and when they line up with the edge of the roof, I shout, "Jump!"_

 _My father lands on the roof, so close the edge that I gasp. I shove Marcus forward and yell, "Jump!"_

 _I push Caleb in front of me, and he jumps without me having to tell him to. I take a few steps back to give myself a running start and leap out of the car just as the train reaches the end of the roof._

Safely landed, we brush the gravel off our knees and stop for a few seconds to catch our breath.

"What now?" asks Caleb, and I glare at him for starting the questions again.

Rather than answer, I wave for the men to follow me and walk across the roof to the ledge. I climb up onto the ledge and tell them about the net at the bottom.

"One at a time," I caution them. "Don't think, just jump."

I lean back and let gravity take me. _I relax my muscles as much as I can before I hit the net, which feels like a slab of cement hitting my shoulder. I grit my teeth and roll to the edge._ How I wish that Tobias' hand would be there to help me off the net, like the first time I jumped. I think about his deep blue eyes, sparkling with laughter when he asked me if I had been pushed. My heart aches, and all I want is to see his eyes light up again, to feel the comfort of his strong arms.

Caleb drops into the net, and I help him off. My father follows, and after Caleb pulls him from the net, he vomits. Marcus falls with a groan, and we are all inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Inside the Dauntless compound my dad, Caleb, Marcus, and I make our way silently through the dark, abandoned halls. It is eerie to see Dauntless so quiet. The only the sound is the water rushing through the chasm. I am weary. So weary. Other than brief periods of unconsciousness caused by Jeanine's guards hitting me or the pain of having my gunshot wound worked on, I haven't slept in over 36 hours. I think about my missions – to end the simulation and to rescue Tobias – and adrenaline surges in, driving out the exhaustion.

As we creep through the silent halls, the lack of any guards makes us relax a little, but it also makes me question if my theories are right. Maybe the sim isn't being run from here. Maybe it's at Erudite. And wherever the sim is running from, it's a good guess that is where Jeanine took Tobias. As we make our way down another silent, empty hall, my dad steps up beside me.

"Beatrice," he asks quietly, "why did you choose Dauntless?"

He seems ashamed to ask the question. I know it feels selfish to him to want answers just to satisfy his curiosity or find some peace of mind. But I truly don't mind being asked. I want him to understand that I left for me.

"It was hard," I begin. "I didn't want to leave you and… mom," I choke a little on the last word, but swallow past the lump in my throat and attempt to make my voice normal again. "See, I don't think selflessness and bravery are different. You have to be brave to be selfless, and you have to be selfless to be brave for someone else. I'm small, and I was weak. I wanted to learn to overcome my fears and to become strong, so I could become brave. So I could become selfless. Does that make sense?"

My dad nods and then asks, "What was initiation like? How did you do?"

I smile and decide to be completely honest about the experience.

"It was hard," I begin, "the first phase is physical. I did pretty well with shooting guns and throwing knives, but hand-to-hand combat was tough. I was the smallest, so no matter who I was paired with, I always had to fight people who were bigger than me."

My father's face looks stricken, so I try to reassure him.

"One of my instructors took interest in me and taught me how to use my speed and even my small size to my advantage. I never came to enjoy fighting, but I passed that phase of training. In the second and third phases we worked on overcoming our fears, and I did really well in that area."

"So you passed initiation?" he asks, his voice concerned.

"I ranked first in my class," I reply proudly.

"Beatrice," he breathed softly, his voice full of wonder and a rare, un-Abnegation note of pride, "You belong here, don't you?"

"I wasn't sure for a while," I continue, "I thought I made a mistake, but in the end, I proved that I can handle this as well as anyone. The lessons of growing up in Abnegation haven't left me, though. Before the simulation attack I was hoping to get involved in a way that would bring Dauntless back to its roots – less cruel than how they have become. I was hoping to bridge some of the differences between the factions. We're not as different as we make ourselves out to be."

My dad nods his head, and says something I never dreamed I would hear again.

"I love you, Beatrice. I'm really proud of you."

Buoyed by his support, I decide to tell dad a little about Tobias.

"There's something else, Dad. I met someone."

Beside me, I hear a quick intake of breath, and I speak quickly to reassure him.

"He's really nice. He's strong and brave, but he's also thoughtful, selfless, and smart. He respects me. It's hard to explain, really. It's like he has perfect faith in my abilities, but offers to share his strength with me if I want it. Does that even make sense? Like when we jump on a train, he always offers me his hand. Not because he thinks I need it, but because he wants to offer it."

"You're so young," says my dad in an almost pained whisper.

"I know," I reply softly, "and he's not much older. We're taking things slowly. Getting to know each other."

My dad nods, taking a minute to process everything he's just heard, and then asks, "What's his name?"

I want to tell him the truth, but I am all too aware of Marcus behind us and the way our whispers cannot be hidden in the empty halls.

"Umm… He goes by Four," I say, not ready to reveal too much. "It's a nickname. He's kind of a Dauntless prodigy. He has only four fears. The average is around 12."

"And how many do you have?" I am thankful that he took the bait as the conversation shifts from Tobias back to me.

"Seven," I reply.

I see the corners of my father's mouth twitch upward into a small, proud smile and decide that the conversation should end here, before he can ask about Tobias again. I turn my head to include Caleb and Marcus and explain in a louder whisper that we are almost to the Control Room, where I expect the simulation is being run.

"It's just up that staircase and down another hall. I'll go first since I know the way. Who has a gun?"

My dad raises his hand, revealing a gun that Zeke and the Abnegation had taken off one of the dead Dauntless. The other guns were taken by Zeke and the Abnigation to protect those running to Amity.

"Dad, you follow me then. Caleb and Marcus try to stay hidden and we'll get another gun if we can."

Everyone nods and we approach the metal stairs. _Before I ascend, I wait in darkness and watch the light cast on the Pit walls by the sun. I watch until a shadow shifts over the sunlit wall and count until the next shadow appears. The guards make their rounds every minute and a half, stand for twenty seconds, and then move on._

Between rounds I sneak up the metal stairs and into the doorway at the top, my gun ready. I wish I had a silencer so taking out the first guard wouldn't alert others, but I don't have that luxury. The guard appears, and I aim for his right shoulder. My shot hits him, knocking him hard into the ground. The recoil from my shot sends a searing pain through my injured shoulder. I keep my gun trained on the guard's head as I approach him and strip him of his weapon and ammunition. I pass the gun out the door to my dad, who hands it down the stairs to Marcus. I feel a pang of anxiety at the thought of Marcus, armed.

As I expected, the sound of my shot summons more guards. Their matching footsteps remind me that they are under the simulation. There are three of them, and I duck as their shots shatter glass windows around me. A fourth guard appears from a hallway, and I am surprised when he shoots, not at me, but at the other guards. Together we take out the three guards, and the fourth waves for me to follow him. _He must be Divergent._

I follow him, calling softly for the others to hurry and do the same. We sneak around the corner and down the hall. We are in the large corridor just outside the Control Room with nowhere to hide when another group of guards approach. I make myself as small as I can against the wall and shoot. On the other side of the corridor, Marcus does the same, with unarmed Caleb crouched behind him.

 _My father sprints down the hallway, drawing the Dauntless guards after him. I clap my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming at him. That hallway will end._

 _I try to bury my head so I don't see it, but I can't. I peer over a fallen guard's back. My father fires over his shoulder at the guards pursuing him, but he is not fast enough. One of them fires at his stomach, and he groans so loud I can almost feel it in my chest._

 _He clutches his gut, his shoulders hitting the wall, and fires again. And again. The guards are under the simulation; they keep moving even when the bullets hit them, keep moving until their hearts stop, but they don't reach my father. Blood spills over his hand and the color drains from his face. Another shot and the last guard is down._

" _Dad," I say. I mean for it to be a shout, but it is just a wheeze._

 _He slumps to the ground. Our eyes meet like the yards between us are nothing._

 _His mouth opens like he's about to say something, but then his chin drops to his chest and his body relaxes._

 _My eyes burn and I am too weak to rise; the scent of sweat and blood makes me feel sick. I want to rest my head on the ground and let that be the end of it. I want to sleep now and never wake. But for every second I waste, another Abnegation member dies. There is only one thing left for me in the world now, and it is to destroy the simulation._

I look across the corridor at Marcus and Caleb. Both appear unhurt, but wear a stricken look from seeing my dad killed. I look to our Divergent guard. He has been shot in the arm. As he removes his helmet, I see a large, dark bruise on his jaw and cheek before I recognize him.

Peter.


	9. Chapter 9

"Peter?" I ask, shocked to find my enemy and one-time attacker has been helping us. "Are you… Divergent?"

"What!?" he recoils, a distasteful look on his face. "I'm not Divergent! Why would you think that?"

"You're awake," I reply. "Only the divergent and those who weren't injected with the serum are awake."

"Yeah, well, Eric gave me an antidote," says Peter. "He said that they could use me, but as soon as they left the room I heard him and Jeanine talking about how they were going to kill me when they were done with me. If you're taking that witch down, I'm going with."

I can always count on Peter to be thinking of himself. He's Erudite by birth, Dauntless by training, and completely and totally not Abnegation. Or Amity for that matter. There is no peace in him, and nothing selfless.

"Why would we take you with us?" I ask.

"Let's see," he began smugly, "I've already helped you get past some guards. Next you'll have to get past the guys running the simulation, shut it down, and then get out of here alive. Without me you just have you and a couple unarmed Stiffs. I think you need me."

Ugh. He has a point. I sigh, grudgingly accepting my new "ally" and reload my gun. I instruct Marcus and Caleb to stay in the corridor with Peter to buy me time in the Control Room, then I cautiously open the door.

The room is full of screens. On one, Dauntless soldiers roam the Abnegation sector, guns drawn. In another I see empty halls of the Dauntless compound. _One of the screens has a line of code on it instead of an image. It breezes past faster than I can read. It is the simulation, the code already compiled, a complicated list of commands that anticipate and address a thousand different outcomes._

In front of the screens there is just one dauntless soldier monitoring the sim.

Tobias.

I close the door behind me, and as the latch clicks, Tobias spins in his chair and trains his gun on me.

"Tobias, it's me. It's Tris," I say in a soft, soothing voice, the way one would speak to a wounded animal that might bite. He flinches at my words, a brief look of confusion that quickly returns to the hard mask.

"Drop your weapon," Tobias barks in his "Instructor Four" voice.

I comply and slowly place my gun on the ground, raising my hands to show him that they are empty.

"Tobias," I try again, "It's Tris. You're in a sim. Please look at me, Tobias. It's me, Tris."

Again my words affect him and I watch the conflict register on his face and then pass on, like a quickly-passing summer storm cloud. As the confusion fades and the zombie-like soldier façade returns, Tobias catches me off guard with a quick jab that catches me on the left cheekbone.

"Shut up!" he yells.

I risk another punch by trying again. After all, I can see on his face that my words affect him, and I hope that if I can hit the right nerve or keep him conflicted long enough he might be able to break free from the sim. He is Divergent, after all.

"Tobias, you are brave and strong. You are smart, honest, and selfless. I know you're still working on being kind, but no one is perfect." I'm hoping that the familiar words will help him break through the sim.

He stops for a moment and I notice that his hands are shaking. I continue, "Tobias, please wake up. You're in a sim. Tobias?"

I'm stunned silent as Tobias shakes his head, then yanks off his belt and wraps it around his hand the way Marcus did in his fear landscape. Is he going to whip me the way his father whipped him? Tobias raises his hand above his head, and I throw my hands over my face and turn quickly so the blow will fall on the left side of my back, away from my face and the wound on my right shoulder.

"I told you to shut up!" screams Tobias. "This is for your own good!"

"Tobias, please!" I yell back. "Don't let them turn you into Marcus! This is not who you are! You are not like him!"

I hear the belt snap again, this time hitting the chair instead of me, and when it falls to the ground, I risk taking a peek at Tobias. His face looks absolutely shocked.

"Tris," he whispers. His own voice.

"Tobias," I reply softly, "are you ok?"

"Tris," he says, still speaking softly, terrified of the answer, "did I just beat you with a belt?"

I sigh. I'm tempted to lie to spare his feelings and get him to work on the sim faster, but I know that would just make things worse.

"Yes, Tobias," I begin, "you were under the influence of a sim and you defended the Control Room the way you were programmed to. But you defeated the serum in you and woke up. Now we have to stop the sim so the Dauntless will quit hunting down and killing the Abnegation. Do you understand me? Every second we hesitate, another innocent is murdered and another Dauntless becomes a killer."

This gets through to him, and he turns back to the control panel. I really wish that he would hug me and hold me for a while so I can cry out all my pain and fear. Today has been too much on every level possible, and I need Tobias' strong arms to comfort me. But after he hit me under the sim, he seems to be going out of his way to avoid even eye contact with me. Besides, stopping the sim is our priority right now. There will be time when this is over, I hope.

Tobias taps away on a keyboard while I watch the screens. On one I see Caleb, Marcus, and Peter out in the corridor. On another I see Dauntless soldiers approaching their location. _Hurry, Tobias!_ I think to myself. I know that Peter will not hesitate to turn on Caleb and Marcus if it seems to be in his best interest. I stare intently at the monitor. Caleb has a gun now. It looks unnatural in his hand. If Peter turns on them, I hope Caleb or Marcus will have the presence of mind and the aim to shoot him first.

On the screen, I see the Dauntless soldiers reach the corridor. Suddenly, they stop moving and their weapons clatter to the floor.

"I got it!" yells Tobias triumphantly.

The sim is over. On all of the screens I see Dauntless waking up to find themselves in a battle they didn't even know they were fighting. _Their mouths move like they are shouting, and they shove each other, and some of them sink to their knees, holding their heads and rocking back and forth, back and forth._

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Tobias continues to tap at the keyboard.

"What are you doing?" I ask. "Isn't it over?"

" _I have to get the data," he says, "or they'll just start the simulation again."_

I feel my tears begin to fall as I watch the screens. I can imagine how the Dauntless feel as they wake up to the death all around them. They are killers now. _We_ are killers now. Some of their own are dead. I'm sure they are angry at being used against their will. They were just pawns in this war, but it will haunt them for the rest of their lives, just as I know that Will's death will haunt me.

And what about the factions? Will the Dauntless be able to come home? Will the other factions understand what happened? Who is in charge if the Abnegation leaders are dead? Marcus?

Tobias holds up a computer hard drive, a piece of metal about the size of his palm.

"Got it," he says. "Now let's get out of here."

He tucks the hard drive into his back pocket and we both pick up our guns before leaving the Control Room.

Out in the corridor we find Caleb tending to the wounds of the newly awake Dauntless soldiers. Peter is standing nearby, still holding his gun defiantly. Marcus sits on a bench against the wall. At the sight of him, Tobias stops in his tracks. In all the chaos I forgot to warn him that Marcus was here with us.

Marcus hops to his feet and puts on a phony fatherly expression. He approaches Tobias, arms open, and says, "Son!"

I step between them. "We don't have time for family reunions right now. We have to get out of here and there is a train due in a few minutes."

Behind me, Tobias is silent. Marcus nods, feigning a pained expression. We gather Caleb and Peter and head back down the hall to the stairs.

I lead the group through the compound, explaining to Tobias as briefly as possible how I came to be with Marcus and Caleb, and how Peter came to be with us. I leave out the parts about my parents' deaths and how I had to kill Will. I know that when I start talking about that I will break down, and I cannot afford to do that yet, so I keep it terse and factual.

I start down the corridor that will lead to Zeke's apartment, and Tobias stops me.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"We have to get Marlene and Lynn," I reply.

Tobias doesn't seem to notice that I didn't mention Will. He just shakes his head and says, "Christina and Shauna went for them when I got caught. Uriah led a group of Abnegation. They were all supposed to go to Amity."

"That's where Zeke went," I add. "He led a group of Abnegation there as well."

"Let's get to the train," says Tobias. "We'll find out if they made it when we get to Amity, and we can make a plan from there."

I nod, and our little group exits the compound near the train tracks. As the train approaches, it slows, and we all run alongside it. Tobias hops on easily and reaches out his hand. I ignore it and get into the train on my own. Caleb and Marcus barely make it, but Peter actually lends them a hand, probably realizing that since I have no reason to keep him around anymore, he needs to stay on my good side.

Tobias takes a seat by the door he entered, and Caleb and Marcus crawl into seats near the other door where they landed. Peter sits right by the far door, watching the land speed past his eyes. I walk to the middle of the train, between Tobias at one end and Peter and the others at the other end, and lay down on a bench.


	10. Chapter 10

I want to sit with Tobias, I really do. But he hasn't made eye contact with me since we were in the Control Room, and the only things we've said to each other were clipped and business-like. We are soldiers on a mission, not lovers on a trip. Besides, I don't know how comfortable he is with Marcus being there. Does he want to keep our relationship from Marcus?

Maybe this coolness is for the best. In the last day and a half, I have been shot and nearly drowned. I killed my friend, and watched both of my parents die. I have witnessed numerous murders, and saw both my former and current factions destroyed. I am well past the end of my strength. I am going to cry, and I would rather not have Peter and Marcus witness my breakdown.

I take a bench in the middle of the train, pull the hood of Zeke's sweatshirt over my face, and lay down. Sobs shake my body, but I keep myself quiet enough that I can't be heard over the noise of the train.

I feel a hand on my right shoulder, touching my gunshot wound. I wince and pull away and the hand retracts quickly.

"Sorry," Tobias mumbles as he moves to walk away.

"No! Stop!" I say. "Come back."

He turns back toward me, and at the sight of his sorrowful deep blue eyes, I begin to cry again, and cannot speak. I unzip the sweatshirt and pull it off my right arm, revealing the bandages applied by the Abnegation medical volunteer. They are stained brown with dried blood. I'm certain I pulled the stitches when I fell into the net at Dauntless, or when I fired my gun at the guard.

"I was shot," I explain in a choked voice that is little more than a whisper. "It hurt when you touched it."

"I'm sorry," says Tobias, his head hanging sorrowfully. "I didn't know."

"I know," I mumble back to him.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" he asks.

I touch the bruise on my cheek where Tobias punched me while under the sim, and I think of the lash mark on my back.

"No," I say, a half-truth, "just this bruise and the gunshot wound in my shoulder."

"Then can I hold you?" Tobias asks shyly.

"What about Marcus?" I ask.

"I don't care about him," says Tobias in a firm voice, taking the seat on my left.

"I'm going to cry," I warn him, tears already filling my eyes and blurring my vision.

"I know," he says as he gingerly wraps an arm around me, careful to avoid my injured shoulder.

I rest my head on his broad chest and begin to sob. Tobias doesn't try to stop me or quiet my crying, he just rubs his hand gently up and down my back and lets me cry it all out.

When I recover enough to speak, I choke out, _"My parents. They died today."_

 _Even though I said it, and even though I know it's true, it doesn't feel real._

" _They died for me," I say. That feels important._

" _They loved you," he replies. "To them there was no better way to show you."_

 _I nod, and my eyes follow the line of his jaw._

"Tris?" Tobias begins in a pained voice, "I hit you today. The way Marcus used to hit me. I took off my belt and whipped you with it. I don't know how to live with myself. I can't stay away from you because I love you and you've been through so much I just want to be there for you. But I _hit_ you. You deserve better than that."

I feel Tobias' tears dripping off his cheek into my hair, and I realize that Marcus in his fear landscape does not represent Tobias' fear of being beaten any longer. He is too strong, too well trained by Dauntless. Suddenly I understand that Marcus still appears in Tobias' landscape because he is afraid of becoming Marcus. This is why he broke down after beating Peter. And Jeanine's sim made his worst fear come true when he hit me under its influence.

"Tobias," I begin in the most soothing voice I can muster, "I don't blame you for what happened today. That wasn't you. You were being controlled by a sim, and you only did what it made you do. In fact, I'm proud of you. You fought back and freed yourself from the sim. I don't think anyone else was able to do that."

"We all did things today that we will regret for the rest of our lives," I continue. "Tobias, I _killed_ people today. I shot several Dauntless, both in self-defense and in an effort to get to the Control Room and stop the sim. I will live with that for the rest of my life. Their friends and family woke up from the sim to discover that their loved ones were _dead_! And I killed them! We all have to learn to live with what happened. You're no worse than anyone else, and I can't do this without you!"

Fresh tears pour down my face, and Tobias pulls me even closer and plants a gentle kiss on my forehead. I cry into his chest until exhaustion takes over and I pass out in his arms.

As I am drifting off to sleep, I swear I hear him whisper, "I love you."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: That's where** _ **Divergent**_ **ends, on the train to Amity. I'm including one last chapter, an epilogue of sorts, to tie up some loose ends and merge my story into** _ **Insurgent**_ **the way Veronica Roth wrote it. Thank you to everyone who read my story and to those who followed and reviewed.**

 **If you would like to read more of my work, I have a short two-chapter piece that replaces chapter 28 of** _ **Divergent**_ **(In which Tris and Tobias go on a "date" where they basically ride around on trains and talk about Erudite and make out) with a fun game of Candor or Dauntless. I also have a brand new piece called "The Divergence Club" which is a one-shot crossover where the** _ **Breakfast Club**_ **takes place in the** _ **Divergent**_ **universe. I have a few more things in the works that will be coming out soon – fics in the worlds of** _ **Divergent**_ **and** _ **The Hunger Games**_ **, so stay tuned!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

I wake up slowly, confused. At first I think I have had the most horrible dream possible. Then I notice the sunlight. The dorms at Dauntless are dark; few rooms in the underground compound have windows at all, and none of them are as bright and sunny as this room.

Am I back home in Abnegation? As my vision clears, I turn my head to the left, toward the window, and notice yellow walls and cheery red and yellow floral curtains on the big window. This looks like Amity.

 _Amity_. The word hits me like a brick. If I'm in Amity, then it wasn't a dream. My parents are dead. I killed Will. Panic rises in me, and I want to bolt. Beside me a grey box with a screen full of green lines and numbers begins to beep aggressively. The alarm causes movement on my right, and I quickly turn my head to see Tobias waking up in a chair beside my bed.

"Tris!" he says, relief in his voice. "You're awake."

"No!" is all I can manage as I scramble to free myself from sheets and blankets, monitors, and an IV tube attached to my arm.

Tobias grabs my hands and pins me down before I can pull out the needle.

"Tris, you have to relax," he tries to soothe me. "We'll get you unhooked soon, but you're going to hurt yourself if you pull on things. And you'll rip your stitches again."

I remember the gunshot wound in my shoulder and briefly wonder why it doesn't hurt. I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly, my panicked eyes desperately seeking reassurance from Tobias' deep, calm ones. Tobias leads me through the deep breathing exercises again and again, relaxing his grip on my wrists when I am stable enough not to pull out my IV.

He straightens out the sheets and blankets, and the motion reminds me of my mother tucking me in when I was young. I begin to sob, and Tobias gently hands me a tissue, presses a button on the bed, and gingerly wraps his arms around my broken and bandaged body.

Just a minute passes before a young woman in a red and white striped dress appears in the doorway. Her blonde hair is parted in the middle and woven into two braids. She smiles the broad smile of the Amity and greets me happily.

"Good morning, Miss Prior! I'm so happy to see you awake and alert!"

I make no response. Her cheerfulness is grating against my grief.

"Please tell the doctor that she is awake," orders Tobias in a firm voice. "I would like her to get checked out so we can get out of here as soon as possible."

Shaken by his firm tone, the nurse just nods and quickly leaves the room.

I cannot stop sobbing, so Tobias leaves his arms around me and rubs soothing circles on my back while whispering the kinds of nonsense people say to crying babies.

"I thought…" I eventually choke out, "I thought it was a dream."

The admission brings a fresh wave of sobs, and Tobias continues to do his best to calm me. After a few minutes, the door opens again and a man with a clipboard enters. He is wearing dark red pants and a soft yellow button-down dress shirt with a white lab coat on top.

"Tris," he begins calmly, "My name is Dr. Price. Are you in any pain?"

I try desperately to calm myself and take inventory. My heart is broken and my mind is rattled, but I am in no physical pain. I shake my head to answer the doctor, and sniff.

"Good," he says, still using is soothing doctor voice, "that means the pain killers are working. I'm going to have to turn them down so we can get you out of here. Do you understand?"

I nod, and Tobias eagerly asks, "How soon do you think we can leave?"

"This afternoon at the soonest," the doctor replies. "We have to get Tris off the IV pain medications, get some food into her, and see how she reacts to the oral pain medication before we can let her leave the hospital."

Tobias nods, satisfied. The doctor asks me if I would like Tobias to stay or go while he examines me, and I opt to keep him in the room. I know the doctor is going to ask me about everything I went through, and this way I won't have to relive everything twice. As the doctor examines my chart, the machines around the bed, and my bandaged wounds, he asks me to tell him what all I went through during the simulation.

I begin with the injection and discovering that it didn't work on some of us. I tell him how we pretended to be affected and how I was shot trying to find my parents. When I tell them about Jeanine's guards knocking me out and how she tried to drown me, Tobias looks stricken. The doctor makes notes in my chart, shines a light in my eyes, and listens to my lungs before asking me to continue. I briefly explain how Zeke and my mother saved me, how we ran, how my mom was killed, and how the Abnegation refugees helped stitch up my shoulder. I tell him about jumping on and off trains and into the net at Dauntless, and he scolds me gently for not being more careful with my injured shoulder.

I sob again thinking about the conversation I had with my dad in the Dauntless compound, and briefly explain his death to the doctor and Tobias. I want to skip over the part of the story where I went into the Control Room and Tobias hit me, but I know the doctor needs to know about all the injuries I sustained, so I gloss over it briefly, placing the blame on "one of the Dauntless" who was monitoring the sim.

"I did it." Tobias states in a quiet but agonized voice. "She doesn't want to say it, but I'm the one who hit her. I put that bruise on her cheek and the lash mark on her back. I was under the sim and I hurt her."

The doctor is sympathetic. "It sounds like a lot of people did a lot worse than hit someone under the sim. If the reports are true, many Dauntless woke up murderers when the sim ended. How did you stop the sim, Tris?"

"It wasn't me," I say, "Tob- um, Four broke himself free of the simulation and then he shut it down."

"How did you get free?" asks the doctor, staring at Tobias in awe. "I thought that was impossible."

"I'm Divergent," explains Tobias. "The first sim didn't affect me at all. After I was caught, Jeanine tried a stronger sim on me, and it worked. That is, until Tris' voice broke through my mental fog, and I fought my way out."

"Fascinating," says the doctor, making more notes on his clipboard.

"Once the sim was shut down, we ran from the compound, jumped on a train, and came here," I conclude. "That's all I remember."

The doctor flips back to the first page of my chart and says, "Apparently you were unconscious by the time the train arrived here. Four and your brother brought you to the hospital where we treated you for dehydration, blood loss, and a gunshot wound that needed repair. The good news is that you seem to be doing well. I've shut off the pain killers in your IV and I'll have a nurse bring you some food and something to drink."

Tobias and I thank the doctor, and he leaves the room.

As soon as the door closes behind him, I turn to Tobias and ask about our friends.

His face looks sad as he lets me know that Zeke and Uriah both arrived safely with their little groups of Abnegation refugees and Christina and Shauna returned safely with Lynn and Marlene, who were confused to find themselves zip tied and sitting in the Amity compound when the sim was shut down.

"Will," I say softly, realizing why Tobias looked sad.

"No one knows where he is," says Tobias, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck the way he does when he is upset. "He broke out of the closet at Zeke's. He must have broken out of the duct tape and climbed out. Shauna says Marlene and Lynn were unable to get out with the zip ties on until she and Christina moved the furniture, but Will was already gone when they got there."

"Where is everyone now?" I ask.

"Once we returned and they knew you were going to be ok, Zeke and Shauna were sent to Candor to enlist their help. After that, Christina, Marlene, and Lynn went back into the city to look for Will and help sort out the chaos."

As promised, the doctor releases me in the afternoon. An Amity nurse brings me a set of clothing, red and yellow, and a pair of brown work boots.

"Where are my clothes?" I ask. I don't particularly want to get back into my black dress, but I would like to have Zeke's hoodie back. "And where is my gun?"

The Amity nurse frowns at me, and Tobias explains that weapons are not allowed at Amity, and that Johanna Reyes, the Amity leader, took it when we arrived. His eyes warn me to stay quiet, so I do. When the nurse leaves, Tobias explains that he managed to keep a weapon for himself but that they could not hold on to mine when the doctors had to undress me to treat my wounds.

"We are here as guests," Tobias explains, "the Amity have agreed to hold a meeting to consider hiding us while the attack is investigated, but only if we abide by their rules and remain peaceful while we are here. They are particularly uncomfortable with having Dauntless here, and were quite relieved when our friends went back to the city. For now we have been offered sanctuary. We are to blend in and cause no stir while our fate is decided."

"I don't want their sanctuary," I snap. "I'm ready to go home now and fight to restore Dauntless."

Tobias smiles at my attitude, but shakes his head.

"You are in no condition to travel yet," He cautions. "You need a few days of rest. And the Abnegation need sanctuary, so try to stay on the Amity's good side for their sake."

"Speaking of Abnegation, Caleb is outside with your old friends Robert and Susan," he continues. "They are eager to see you. Are you ready to go?"

I nod and take Tobias' hand. Nothing is certain any more, but I am glad to have him by my side as I face it.


End file.
